Re: Going Overboard?

Hi,

I have never heard of the digital toilet watch reminders (either kind) but I have to tell you, toilet training is a rough road for any parent of an autistic child. My son, who is now 13 has finally become bowel trained. My husband got lucky one night and followed him up to the bathroom and made him sit on the toilet, and he just happened to do his bm's in the toilet.

My husband was excited, and so was our son. The look on his face was,...WOW! That was much easier than going in my underpants. Here's the scenerio.

He's been bladder trained since he was 8, we've worked 5 long years on getting him to do his bm's in the toilet.  He just didn't get it. He would hold them in. He would sit willingly on the toilet for as long as you wanted him to, we figured 10 minutes was sufficient, to them it's an eternity.  For that entire 10 minutes, he would hold his bm's in. As soon as you let him off, we let go in his pants, and if we happened to be downstairs, they'd be on the floor, on the walls, out the window, anything to get rid of them, even on the ceiling...lol, yes, the ceiling.

Smearing, I know, it's sounds disgusting, but that's what he would do to get rid of it, on the walls mostly, and his pants would get washed out, and we'd go through a pack of pants in a month, because most of the time, I or my husband would just say "screw it" and throw them out.

Now, it's a Godsend, he feels a sense of accomplishment of going in the toilet, he didn't like his bms in his pants anymore than we did, we just couldn't make him understand that the toilet is the ONLY  place they should go.

So if your child is not yet 13 don't sweat it, just be patient, it'll happen. These kids just take forever to toilet train, there's just no rushing them. I know I would get the looks and the comments from people when I'd take my son in the ladies room with me.  With all the sexual predators out there in the world today, I would be petrified to let him go into the men's room by him self.  So I have no choice but bring him in there with me.

One day a lady said to me, "you know ma'am, he's too old to be in here, he needs to go to the mens room".  I turned to her, and in an "IN YOUR FACE" way replied back... you know ma'am, you need to mind your own business, he's in here with me because he is special needs, and there's no way in hell I'll let him go in the mens room by himself, how do I know that there's NOT a pedaphile in there ready to pray on him, and he couldn't tell me if  he's been molested. She didn't know what to say, and actually apologized.

I graciously accepted her apology and went on with my business.  I just wish people would ask instead of assume something. But that's the problem with autism, it's unseen to the untrained eye.  The invisible disorder I like to call it. Unlike Down's Syndrome which has noticeable facial differences, Autistic people look like regular people with no deformities. Infact most autistic children are down right attractive to the eye, very handsome or pretty.  My son is no exception and I'm sure your child is no exception either.

Anyway, I think the point I'm trying to make amidst my ramblings on, is that.....don't knock yourself out about the toilet training, he/she will do it when they're ready and not before.  When the time is right, it'll happen, then you can sit back and and take a huge sigh of relief. It's not a bad idea though to always have the wipes and spare undergarments on hand, accidents do happen.

Good luck, and don't worrry.

Vanessa